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Red Light, Green Light

It is lovely to spend time with strangers and listen as they open up, even with reluctance. Often, they want to share, though are hesitant with fear and sometimes I find for men the perception that openness and vulnerability are not "manly" by the definition they were raised. They share their father'a love of service and his heartbreaking early departure from those he served, the love of a family friend whose brown eyed toddler with dimples and a high pitched squealing laugh capture their heart, the difficulty of an unfaithful spouse, or lingering desire to raise offspring. Their openness is met with squinted grey blue eyes, a hard close lipped smile, high cheeks, creased eyes, and the occasional involuntary tears of joy or sorrow or raised shoulders expressing contained excitement in need of release. Often, my mouth opens erupting with observation or uncertain understanding of what is being express, and at times, explodes in opinion from my bold and loving heart. The stories continue, secrets revealed, naked, raw, tip-toeing, tripping or leaping from throat, mouth, tongue. It is a beautiful, fun experience and what I love most about meeting strangers. 

Then, it happens. All too soon men try to press for my time, affection, pour out clumsy words of poetry or better describes as rehearsed lies that worked on the women they pursued time and time before. They hear my southern joke in public that flattery will get you everywhere and at 17, maybe, but add a couple decades and the great and powerful Oz is fully exposed and my southern manners allow me to politely let him feel both great and powerful rather than the fraud he is.

They attempt to drown me with attention and praise striving to appeal to my passions or perceived weaknesses like a strong and obnoxious targeted marketing effort. RED LIGHT! Without even realizing it, the words are taking action shutting the door on unwanted solicitation. Yet the curiosity of why I enjoyed the conversation remains as I encounter them in public or respond to relaxed and brief words before another awkward advance is made toward relationship or intimacy and what had become a yellow light of caution, though that is not a color in the game, quickly turns again from green to a quick and bold, RED LIGHT! 

In that moment, my lips lock, eyes and attention shift, and arms lock down coldly by my side...penguin

My advice, be genuine. Be who you are and accept people as they are instead of molding them in your mind to something they are not...eventually, the shapeshifter you have created will shift back to who they are and both of you will be unhappy. Both of you will then stand around broken hearted, angry, and disappointed scratching your head trying to understand what went wrong.

P.s. we are not one size fits all. You weren’t made to be! Embrace the amazing person God made you to be! 

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